[Note: I can claim no credit for the contents of this post. I am merely taking advantage of the brilliance of my wife and the cats that came along with her as part of “the package deal.”]
Since Bob is an outdoor cat, he engages in the occasional contretemps. Last week involved a particularly operatic one. Damian was good enough to provide a translation for Bob’s parts of the lyrics (we can only imagine what his partner in song was offering in reply), and Melissa was quick to write them down.
The title, of course, is from the Italian and roughly translates as “I Hate You Down to the Very Hair Between My Toes.” Enjoy!
Ti Odio Verso, Perfino i Capelli tra le Dita dei Piedi (as performed by H. Bob-Jacques Endlessseafoodbuffet Pelerin and translated by Damian Vaslav M. Presario Pantalones de Queso ¡y Qué!)
Oh, you miserable creature
You horror who dare to call yourself a cat
You are baser than a dog
You are no better than a dog
And a chihuahua at that.
I am not afraid of you
You are no more terrifying than a squirrel
Who sits chattering in the tree
And vainly throwing nuts at my head.
I laugh at your threats:
Ha ha ha ha ha!
You miscreant
You wretch
You weaker than a kitten
I spit in your eye
I pee in your bed
I kick excrement into your food bowl
But only after eating what’s left.
I dare you to try anything
Look! I am puff!
My tail is greater than all of you put together.
Get out.
Get out of my yard.
Get out of my yard now!
I had NO idea Sweetie-pie Bob was so hateful…and somewhat Shakespearean in his verse.