Question: how many of you have taken the time to figure out what your cats’ IDs would be if they had to be protected by the secret service? It could happen. These are dangerous times, you know.
And what if the cats want to go out clubbing? What names will they go by then? Summer is coming and the cats love the nightlife, you know.
Well, Melissa and I have it figured out.
Archy Fidel Katz
Secret Service Name: Romeo
Club Name: Arch Meister Flash
Maggie Glorianna Moo-Woozle
Secret Service Name: Tiny Dancer or Filibuster (bet you can’t guess where the second one came from)
Club Name: Lady Woozle
Damian Vaslav M. Presario Pantalones de Queso ¡Y Qué!
Secret Service Name: OJ
Club Name: Jiggy Puss (this photo does not do his jiggyness justice)
H. Bob-Jaques Pelerin
Secret Service Name: Mariner (sleeps on the neighbors’ boat) or Rasta (we’re having some grooming issues just now)
Club Name: Puff-Puff Daddy
Beatrice Grasshopper Schwartz-Noir
Secret Service Name: Enigma
Club Name: You have got to be kidding.
Spartacus Gladstone Keeper
Secret Service Name: The Brick
Club Name: DJ Clump
Miss Timmy Belle Bon Chance (who is officially Chris’s cat, but who shares the yard with our cats—or rather, who tolerates our cats in her yard)
Secret Service Name: Warrior Princess
Club Name: Not on your life.
Then there’s Mortimer, our truculent senior citizen who eschews the paparazzi.
Secret Service Name: Groundhog (because you can guess what happens when he sees his own shadow)
Club Name: Grump Master Grump
Really, if you live with cats, these are the sorts of things you need to know.