Large, handsome, enthusiastic orange and white cat seeks employment as a computer assistant/muse. Giant paws enable stepping on multiple keys simultaneously, resulting in new and creative keyboard commands. Powerful whippy tail can disconnect working USB cables, resulting in corrupted external hard drives and lost iTunes libraries. Possible employment as a WMD. Bonus: also makes an excellent paperweight. Current human does not appreciate my skill set. Ask for Damian.
(and books, and cats, and books, and more…)
Dear Damian,
After careful review of your resume and skill set it is with regret that we must inform you that we currently have not openings in our enterprise. Unfortunately we currently have two rather large black and white cats fulfilling all of our needs in these areas.
Thank you for your interest in our firm and we wish you every luck in finding a new position where your talents will be used to the fullest.
Sincerely,
Beentsy & Mo Cuirdh,
Supercats Extrordinaire